“Isn’t that the wrong slur to use?” Amy asks nonchalantly from behind the kitchen sink, water gushing from the faucet.
“What?” Shocked–bewildered!– Ben looks up to see if he heard right… as if one could SEE what they were supposed to HEAR.
“That’s not even the right way to use that slur,” she says.
And there it creeps… the bloodstain across his life… reaching for him…. stalking him. The shadow enveloping everything.
It will smother him in the end.
©️ 2021 Katie Baker
Seeking Prose 
Hi Katie. How about make your 3rd paragraph 2nd? I think it helps the story flow, and gives Amy’s opinion strength.
Then you wouldn’t need use “shocked-bewildered.” I could see it in Ben’s eyes, and sense the tension in the air.
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Hi Arnold, I do see what you mean! I appreciate the feedback. It would emphasize Amy’s words. Thank you for reading 😄
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You’re a hard worker and willing to listen. That’s good.
Have you read Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’ yet? He’s a world-class writer because he’s down-to-earth readable.
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Oh thank you for the compliment! That’s one reason why I started my blog: to work harder at writing.
I haven’t been able to read ‘On Writing’ yet. I’ve been finishing up a few book club books and another for my bookstagram, but I have put it on my reading list 😄
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